E3 happened this week, so the blogosphere has a glut of thinkpieces about who “won” E3. (Most sources say Sony.) Since I don’t care which multi-billion-dollar mega-corporation has a better marketing department than other multi-billion-dollar mega-corporations, I’m going to skip all that bullshit and just make fun of everybody involved. And I’m also going to link to a piece by Patton Oswalt, because who doesn’t love Patton Oswalt?

  • This probably would have been more apropos before E3, but David Gallant has a drinking game for the E3 press conferences. Save it for 2014 in case you want to get shitfaced next June. (Via Mike Fahey of Kotaku.)
  • Cracked reacted to the E3 press conferences in typically harsh fashion. Based on what he saw at the E3 pressers, David Wong has a list of the misconceptions that every gaming company seems to have about its audience. It’s pretty spot-on, so I just have this to say: Holy fucking fuck, Microsoft, I don’t want to Skype while watching a fucking movie, for fuck’s sake!
  • Finally, a palate cleanser to rid your tongue of the aftertaste of the shit sundae that is E3. Patton Oswalt has penned a letter to himself. I could spoil what it’s all about, but I think it’s worth going in cold.

Alright, that does it for this week. I’m going to go sit in a corner and pretend that E3 never happened.